Uno

_ How did you know that you were in love, the first time you were in love?
_ Ahhh... my first love... ol' what's her name...
_ It must harken back to a remembrance.
_ Go easy, cream-puff. No remembrances allowed.
_ All knowledge is recollection.
_ I don't know about that. Maybe you just thought you were in love based on something you saw in the movies, or read in a book. Maybe you didn't know; maybe all of this shit is alien to us and we try to act like it isn't.
_ What is knowing?
_ Everybody knows what knowing is. Knowing is the end result of thinking real hard, and when you grunt, you're done... you know. What I want to know is what, and where, is the 'wazoo'?
_ Were you anyone's first love?
_ Apart from my own? No. I was more like training wheels to a whole bevy of beauties; I left the mental gymnastics to the 'Trevor's' of the world.
_ You're like a cartoon character.
_ Please... I have a hard time taking anyone who wears tube socks seriously. I consider myself the human equivalent of a double-espresso - to be sipped and enjoyed, as one would a fine liqueur. With the masses intent on quantity, quality is reserved for the more refined tastes. I am at my peak flavor right now. I am to be taken straight and unadorned. I offer no substitutions, I accept no excuses. The masses opt for Plan 'B' because Plan 'A' requires effort and focus. I am not part of any plan, so plan accordingly.
_ Whoa, Nellie!
_ What can I say? I'm an incurable romantic; I sweat when I talk about love.
_ True love is never known, it is lived.
_ You are full of shit.
_ Excuse me?
_ You are so full of shit that my eyes are turning brown.
_ True love is lived!
_ You live alone.
_ A, B, C...? You've me there...
_ Checkmate.

                                                                   <><><>

     ... I've studied a few languages over the course of time, and I have to say that English is the one which has given me the most trouble, especially two words - 'I do'.

     ... It's not easy being a single man these days, although, I suppose, it's impossible to be a double man, or a triple man. Whatever. The dating game has changed. It's turned into a perverse version of  'Can You Top This?'. Before I get too carried away in thinking that the person I am out with is so interesting, I pause for a second to reflect on the fact that if I didn't ask this interesting person out, they would be sitting home alone; same goes for me. I went out on a date the other night with a woman I met at a poetry reading. We were swatting around the conversation ball when she, somewhat absentmindedly, scratched her head. I, in an effort to introduce the present moment into our conversation, said, " What's with the scratching? Do you have fleas?" Our date ended thirty seconds later.

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