So Sad

_ It's so sad when something is taken away.

_ Especially if no one knows what it is.

_ I'm not afraid of dying.

_ What about living... Are you afraid of living?

_ To be afraid... Is an only child afraid? Needn't there be another; an 'other'?

_ Are you an only child?

_ It wouldn't appear so, at least not until I step into my grave; at that point we are all an 'only child'.

_ " Cosimo, my little baby, come home to me".... Right?...." In about eighty years, ma; I've some stumbling and bumbling to do. Someone said they stopped the last war even though there was ammunition yet to be used."

_ Think 'Green': Finish one war before you start another... Is your name 'Cosimo'?

_ No. I was named after a form of alabaster.

_ I'm not afraid of living: I am living. A dot yearning to get to the center of the circle - a circle immeasurable... every where is where the center is... I dance with cancer, but I came of my own volition. To take the initiative in leaving iniquity behind, or maybe in front or on the side - either side. It doesn't matter because the night don't stick to this black cat; it - the night - runs away. Do you catch my drift? The naysayers say 'nay' when we say 'yea'. We back out of the room - there's so much room. Will I ever see you again? I'm not afraid of dying; I'm not afraid of living; I'm not afraid of cancer. How can I be? Cancer is fear... how can I be something I'm not? I can only be. How many forms are there of alabaster?

_Two; and one is unknown - that's me.

_ Something was taken away. I was so sad. I don't know what it was. I'm not sad anymore. I don't really have the time to be anything anymore. I don't have the time to be late. The great one's stand unshaken in the midst of the greatest sorrow - the living experience that we mistakingly call 'life'. They are unimpressed; it is we who bear the brand of that special memory. Everything we've heard of death - indeed death itself - falls from the lips of the living. To be afraid... I can only be.

_ Cha-cha, you rascal you. Chai?

_ I'm dry.

                                                                    **************

... A simple dish: A crust of bread, some greens and beans; a glass of wine.

... Candlelight tonight; starwine.

photocredit